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Please join if you are a stepparent. I think if any others out there are like me; we could definately use some support. Stepchildren are wonderful gifts. I call them my kids that didn't require two weeks of labor!!! However, it is quite challenging. The second-guessing: am I favoring my own or am I favoring the stepkids to gain their love? Am I too hard or not hard enough? Pretty much all of the same issues you would have with biological children except stepchildren are not biologically wired to love and accept you like the ones we popped out. I would LOVE to hear your stories. I have two full-time stepsons and one biological son who is also the youngest. We have all known each other for three years and my husband and I got married last July. It's definately a circus! I think the easiest lesson I've learned so far is to always admit when I'm wrong. Whether it's to a 7 year-old or 13 year-old, I'm cool with apologizing for my screw ups. I just hope that someday when they're grown and in therapy they'll remember to mention my humble nature!!!!

Not just a step mom

Posted By Mrs Just a step mom on Jul 24, 2012 at 10:30PM

As it sits im a 36 yr old step mom of 4 children, foster mom of 1 and a step mom still to a previous step son from a past marriage. And also a mother to 1 deceased son.  But im more than that. I am a step child and an adopted child. I have a mother and father, adopted dad and a step dad. I am an only child but have 3 half sisters one half brother, two adopted brothers, step sister and two step brothers. And im sure if I could talk to my father id find out there were more. Now with all that I face a day to day struggle with people telling me im wrong! Im not a mother. That I need to go have a family of my own. I am called names daily, bashed, trashed talked, slandered and humiliated by my step childrens MOTHERS, my once friends, my IN LAWS and so many more. When did adults become so cruel? I am a good person. I open my home and my heart to all until proven that I need not to. I just dont get it anymore! My children no matter which one they are they love me, yet are forced to choose between me and their birth moms! Who does this? What gain is there torturing a child to choose? My parents did this and it was horrible. I watched my father forget I was even there, then my own mother walked out leaving me with a man who at most times made me feel like I was just an obligation. Soon after their divorce he got custody of me....I was broken! Two failed abusive marriages later and I found my other half. Yes he has 4 children from two different women. I accepted that. Treated them as my own. Loved them like my own. Yet im treated like an outcast by his family and friends. I recently took on the challenge of a 16 yr old foster child. Now im told im brown nosing the system to make it seem like im a good person! WHAT? Since last October I started a page on facebook, called "Just a Step Parent?", I have joined many Fathers Rights Groups, anything I can to help others in my situation or ones similar. Some days I find peace but most I cry myself to sleep wishing I had the answers. I have lived one hecka life been places, seen things....but the level of evils I have seen from more and more bio moms is astounding! Thank you for letting me share this, I truly needed a place to just talk even if no ones listening.

I am picking on the step daughter

Posted By Socialberry on Mar 8, 2010 at 8:18PM

So my husband feels guilty for putting his children threw a divorce and for the crazy drug addicted ex wife. So he lets his 14 yr old daughter have what ever she wants. Do what ever she wants. Oh and no chores or responsibilities. She is getting F's and D's in school. She has missed 17 days of school. She runs away when at her Mom's. She dates 18 yr old boys. My husband is a truck driver so it is up to me to deal with all of this. When she is at our home. Every other week. She goes to school and is well behaved. I get at least one call from him every week to please go and pick her up she is fighting with her mom. I go and it is a nightmare. No matter what happens I am the bad guy. I make her clean her room, do her home work, feed the dogs. If I complain about her being lazy and not getting good grades, I am and always have been picking on her. We are moving 2000 miles away to get away from this woman. Who says she will let the daughter come with us. 4 wks away from move and husband has still not gotten any paper work signed. Every time Mom is kicked out of yet another apt. I say lets go for custody. He says he dose not want his daughter to think he is taking her away from her mom. Because that is what mom has told her he will do. When will this end. How is it possible that a crack head turned pill popper can have so much power over a family. She actually told me my husband is going to take her with him on the move and leave me. This all in front of her current husband. When I looked at him he said take her. I know in my heart the only hope my step daughter has of not turning out like her mom and on drugs is to get her away from her. My husband is a lazy parent and uses bribes to get her to do what he wants. I always tell her the truth, and hold her accountable for things. I also have shown her how to cook. We enjoy doing this. She talks to me and we respect each other. But she lies and manipulates like her mom. She know it dose not work on me, which is why I think she respects me and we can talk. I always tell her that her mother loves her but has a hard time showing it. She is getting older so it has gotten easier with her but not my husband or the ex. Do I stop fighting with my husband and let things be, or do I continue to treat the step in the same manner I did when my daughter was her age? Which I really don't do, my daughter had a chore list every day and was not aloud to do anything unless she did her home work and kept her grades up. I feel depressed and alone. I am moving and leaving my daughter ( 20 and on her own). Our hole lives have revolved around my step daughter and her mother. Second reason to move is stepson, lives with grand parents. Retarded due to drug use during pregnancy. Grandma cant take care of him any more. He is 16 yrs old and will never be able to read write or even go with out a diaper. another, the main reason to hate the ex.

I feel like I am going crazy!!!!

Posted By 5Staci5 on Jul 9, 2008 at 11:49AM

This step mom thing is new to me. I feel soooo overwhelmed.

My fiances ex is insane, and the more I try to understand the more I am confused. I never know what her next move is and I am constanly being caught off guard.

I feel extremly out of the loop lately and at times I almost feel like "the other woman" I feel left out and like a third wheel in my own home.

This all might just be PMS or adjusting to my new life. Who knows, I am hoping I will get over it soon.

I feel as if this is taking a huge toll on our relationship. I am frusterated and can't express why. I expressed my feelings today after a myspace comment was left. I stated if the shoe was on the other foot and one of my ex's was leaving cutesy little photos and old inside jokes and stories he would feel pretty bad and come un-glued. He said true but she is't just an ex she is my kids mom. ARGHHHHHHH.

Am I being dramatic?? Please tell me if I am! Please give me some advise before I run this otherwise perfect relationship into the ground.

Tagged with: life

Stepmothers! Answer this questionnaire and let your voice be heard!

Posted By Moxy Margs on Jun 16, 2008 at 10:26AM

We are currently taking submissions for a book written for Stepmothers, by Stepmothers. You can see our previous post in this group for a detailed description of the book. If you would like to be included in this wonderful project, please fill out this questionnaire and email it back (in a word document) to evilstepmomsunite@gmail.com. Thanks and we look forward to hearing from you!!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Submission Questionnaire: Stepmothers and their Stepchildren
evilstepmothersunite@gmail.com

The Stepchildren

1. How long have you been a Stepmother?

2. How many Stepchildren do you have?

3. How many times a month do you see your Stepchildren? Do they live with you?

4. How old are your Stepchildren?

5. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the worst and 10 the best), how would you rate your relationship with your Stepchildren?

6. Describe some funny comments and/or conversations that you’ve had with your Stepchildren.

7. What is your most memorable experience involving your Stepchildren?

8. What is the most challenging part of being a Stepmother?

9. What advice do you have for Stepmothers in dealing with their Stepchildren?

The Ex-Wife

1.On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the worst and 10 the best), how would you rate your relationship with the ex-wife (mother of the children)?

2. When you are in the presence of the ex-wife, how would you describe your emotions?

3. Do you have any “horror-stories” involving the ex-wife? If so, please describe.

4. Do you have any humorous stories involving the ex-wife? If so, please describe.

5. How do you deal with your emotions surrounding the ex-wife? Do you have any vices?

6. What advice do you have for Stepmothers in dealing with the ex-wives?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

First Name: Last Initial:

City/State:

*If you have any artwork, poetry, or jokes that focus on being a Stepmother, please feel free to attach it to this form. If your submission is selected to be published, you will be notified with further questions. Thanks very much and we look forward to reviewing your submission!

Evilstepmothersunite@gmail.com

Let your voice be heard Stepmoms!!!!

Posted By Moxy Margs on Jun 3, 2008 at 1:36PM

Are you an "evil" Stepmother? Had a wild encounter with a crazy ex-wife? Are your weekly child visitation drop-offs anything but drama free? Well Stepmoms, we want to hear from you!

We are compiling stories, jokes, advice, testimonials, and poems from Stepmoms around the country for a new book dedicated to (who else) Stepmoms! This book will serve as an aid to Stepmoms who are in need of a good laugh, cry, or who just need to know that they aren't alone! Being a Stepmom can be rewarding, but it also has it's moments (sometimes more than you could have ever imagined).

If you are interested in being a part of this rewarding project, please email us one or more of the following:

-Advice for new (or veteran) Stepmoms
-Jokes about ex-wifes, being a Stepmom, or Stepkids
-Any experiences or stories you may have had with an ex-wife or your Stepkids
-Poems you've written about being a Stepmom
-Artwork focused on being a Stepmom

Our email address is evilstepmomsunite@gmail.com. With your emails, please include your first name and last initial, your city and state, and a good number for us to reach you. We may contact you with any questions or clarifications that may arise.

Thanks for your contribution!

Keywords: Stepmothers, stepmoms, support groups, books, publishing, writing gigs, Stepkids, ex-wives, short stories

School's In = Up the Evilness!

Posted By mdbzmom on Aug 29, 2007 at 8:59AM

Good lord, Schools back in session, we're trying to get routines back and once again, I carry the "whip" in our house.
Here's something that ya'all might find useful that I've started. It's not step-parent specific but it keeps everything "fair" in my house. I've made a schedule of their day. From waking up and putting on uniforms, to where their backpacks go after homework to brushing teeth before bed. NO free time until everything is done. If they do good they get 30 minutes extra before bedtime. Also, they decide if their room stays clean or dirty but no computer time if it's messy.

Take no prisoners!! Oh and as far as being stuck with handling the "bad guy" role: If your husband won't step up tell him what I told mine....

"It's time for you to grow a pair of breasts and get downstairs and handle your kids!!!!"

I don't no how I came up with that one but we both lost it. :rotfl:

Not Technically

Posted By nurdburd13 on Jun 15, 2007 at 2:12PM

Spoiled KidsSpoiled Kids

i'm not technically a stepmom. i live w/ my boyfriend & he has a 12 yr old son. you wanna talk about hard. i'm only 14 yrs older than him. i say ONLY bc i'm still (and will always be) into cartoons & i watch nickelodeon more than a lot of kids. haha. it's just the type of tv that entertains me. but whatever. i love the kid. he's just not very well behaved & so spoiled he can't see straight. it's really hard for me to know what i can & cannot say. i don't want him running home to mommy whining that i screamed at him when all i really did was tell him he must say excuse me when he burps or close his mouth when he chews. i was raised to have manners. the child has none. serious. it's rather astounding.

good thing is, he likes me and i do like him. we can talk about shows & he's getting me into graphic novels. and god bless my boyfriend. i was / am able to talk to him about what i consider unsuitable behavior in our home and then we are able to decide together what we should do about it. we have come a LOOOONG way w/ manners. he can actually remember to say excuse me w/o prompting. yay!

overall, it's going well. he's an only child so the spoiled-ness i was expecting to a degree. he does listen to me, sort of, kind of, in a way. we'll get there surely? but any advice would be great.

Tagged with: stepmother, stepchildren

Just so you know...

Posted By mdbzmom on Jun 15, 2007 at 1:31PM

Currently, all of my kids are on visitation with their other parents so it's been a nice vacation and my house has miraculously stayed clean. My two stepsons will return home this evening and my littlest will be home next weekend. The older two see their mother for four non-consecutive weeks in the summer and my youngest spends six weeks with his dad and I get him every other weekend during.

It's usually hit or miss with how my stepsons interact with me when they come home from their grandmother/mother's house.

Wish me luck!!

Tagged with: stepkids